Pants Down! Now That You’ve Been Caught, What Next?

You guys, this thing isn’t even funny again! Seriously, I don’t have a topic for today. No hot, no warm… not even cold topic sef! I’m completely empty and it’s not for lack of efforts. I was discussing with the team about what we should talk about. You know I’ve already established that we like to switch things up a bit. Love, lifestyle, academics, religion, love…. somehow or the other the matter always comes back to love/relationship matters. What did we talk about last week? I can’t even remember anymore. It’s not like my mind is that porous (okay maybe it is a little porous but hey!) but there’s so much to think about and do.

So, having established that I’m going to be winging it this afternoon, please bear with me as we talk about the recent developments on social media. The Battabox video went viral and all the ‘cool kids’ of the online community have latched onto it. For me, I was curious as to how these women would go back and face their men (real or imagined). If you found out that your man/woman was cheating and it was all over the internet how would you react? A few years ago, my friend found out that her boyfriend of 6 years had been cheating serially, and here they were about to get married. In her despair, my friend wanted out of the relationship. To her, trust and fidelity were the fulcrum of a good relationship and if that wasn’t there, then she wasn’t willing to go on with the proposed marriage. One of her aunts called her aside and told her that “all men cheat, it’s how you manage your situation that is different. There’s no reason why you should throw one man away because he cheats. How many do you want to discard?” It wasn’t the first I’d heard that kind of advice from older people. They supposedly know better than the younger folk..No?

I’m not trying to psycho-analyze why men cheat, TJ already tried to do that here. Neither am I trying to rant about the ills of cheating, Glory already did that here .I’m just curious as to what happens after! Do you walk out? Do you try to mend things? Do you confess to your priest? How do you deal with the breach of trust that has been reposed in another person?

As always, I like to see what it feels like when the shoe is on the other foot, I wondered aloud about how men handle when their wives cheat and someone told us of how a guy found out his wife was cheating and when he confronted her she confirmed that she was unhappy and dude went out and got her a nice new car.

So what do you do when you know that your lover/partner/husband-wife has been unfaithful? After that initial stage of outrage and betrayal do you think of the other ‘positive’ sides of the relationship or is cheating an absolute No-No?

What do you guys think?

Photo credit:theboxhouston.com, culled from bellanaija

IK Osakioduwa’s ‘Tips To Getting A Man’; What Do You Think?

So yesterday IK Osakioduwa, a radio personality on Rhythm 93.7 started a tweet series on Tips To Getting A Man. Inspired by “trying to help ladies find guys.” IK is married with 2 kids so we’re not talking about a single man here.

Now I’m not one that believes in criteria on how to get/keep a man as people are different, and what’s good for one might be bad for the other, but the list is worth checking out.

I will say however that I strongly disagree with #5. Your style of hair really should not define if you can keep a man or not, so natural or not, it really shouldn’t matter, as long as your hair is not busted looking and un-kept.

The rest of them? Well in my opinion it all depends on who you are talking to. Different strokes for different folks, but if I did have to give my own 2 cents, I’d say be yourself. No use faking it to snatch a man, and then reverting back and maybe losing him cos “he thinks you changed.“

Anyways, what do you think? Ladies? Fellas? Drop your thoughts.

10.Don’t pressure him to marry u with questions like “Where’s this leading?” Instead leave him if he’s taking too long.#IksTipsToGettingAMan

9. No matter what, never be rude or abusive to him in front of his friends. (Not even in jest) #IksTipsToGettingAMan

8. Have standards. Or you’ll find yourself in and out relationships too often and that’ll earn you a bad name. #IksTipsToGettingAMan

7. Learn to cook. Most guys like a girl that CAN cook. Yeah not all guys but MOST. So do yourself a favour and learn #IksTipsToGettingAMan

6. Don’t give it ALL up. Leave some for marriage. Perfect the art of giving previews. Nobody pays for free stuff. #IksTipsToGettingAMan

5. Make an effort. Try to look nice. Work out. Guys like babes. Get that Don King hair done, stop forming”Oh Naturale” #IksTipsToGettingAMan

4.Drop guys that take all ur time without really chasing u. They block other guys. No IWC= Intimacy Without Commitment#IksTipsToGettingAMan

3. Be careful not to be TOO INDEPENDENT. Learn to gain from your man’s presence in your life. Guys need to be needed. #IksTipsToGettingAMan

2.Make friends with married women. They know what guys want more than your single friends (that’s why they’re married) #IksTipsToGettingAMan

1. Learn to do solo trips. It’s just easier for most guys to step to a girl on her own, than one in a pack of girls #IksTipsToGettingAMan