A very good friend of mine is trying to make some life decisions. One of these decisions is whether or not to have children, and she is trying to decide by using logic!! She recently wanted to get my input and asked, "Why do you enjoy having children?". I had a very difficult time answering. Later I realized it is because I do not like to brag. How can I even begin to express the joy I receive from my children? A joy that she doesn't even know. I tried to think back to before I had children and try to remember if I ever felt the kid joy. I did, when I was a kid. I can remember the joy of trying new foods for the first time and going new places. Remember the excitement of the first day of school and the joy of new shoes? You might not because for some reason, we lose this kind of joy. We rediscover it when we have our own children. Then, through them, we get to experience the joy again. We vicariously get to enjoy the wonder of the world.
Now I know to appreciate the joy. I can feel it so deeply that I feel like my heart actually grows when I am around them. I feel the joy when I go to wake them and get warm sleepy hugs, every time I get written about in their journal describing me as nise (nice), and in so many other moments too numerous to mention.
It is as if we have a secret society. We parents do not go around boasting how wonderful it is to be a parent. It is something we keep very private. Meanwhile we are very vocal about the number of poopy diapers we have changed and the sleep deficiency we have had since the birth of this creature. To hear parents complain, you really have to wonder why so many people have children. But we know why, because no matter the work, there is nothing more fulfilling than the job of a parent.
Already as my children have moved on to elementary school they do not require as much of my time. I am very aware that as they get older they will care less and less about spending time with me. I will be sure to do two things. First always stay involved in their lives so I can spend time with them. Secondly, get a life of my own so that I am not dependent on them. I will do this but I know that getting my own life will not be as fulfilling as giving them theirs.
I think about all of the things I would have missed if I had used logic to decide whether or not to have children. It is a list I call:
If I didn't have you:
-I wouldn't know the joy of watching ants or discovering a dead beetle.
-I wouldn't care so much about soccer.
-I wouldn't have a reason to go to the zoo.
-I definitely wouldn't appreciate Mr. Biggs/tantalizers's food.
-I wouldn't get to read all of those wonderful children's books.
-I wouldn't even know that Tom&Jerry are animals.
-I wouldn't have a nurse's knowledge of illnesses and antibiotics
-I wouldn't get to throw so many fun parties.
-I never would have had a baby head to smell or a baby foot to kiss.
-I probably wouldn't care so much about making the world a better place.
-I wouldn't have a reason for doing all of those silly crafts.
-I wouldn't have a little hand to hold.
-I wouldn't have hand-made mother's day cards to cry over.
-I wouldn't feel so old or so young.
-I wouldn't have as much meaning in my life.
Yeah! you sensed it.....Even though you might feel embarrassed when i kiss and embrace you at the school gate or even grumble when i call, even though you might go against my instructions or even sneak out when i'm not looking and even though you might not come tops in your class and even feel less than perfect....You are just the perfect one for me and I'm proud to have uuuu!
